Blind spots?

What do you do when you discover a blind spot? Oh no, I am not always what I say and not always the values I want to be. It was many years ago that I realized that in some circumstances I was acting to control and protect myself and made unilateral decisions based on earlier incidents in life rather than who I wanted to be, open, love, trusting and collaborative.

So what do you do when you discover a blind spot? Usually it is quite a surprise and often causes an emotional and sometimes spiritually stirring. So now you see something that you had not seen before. You might say to yourself, “I can see I am doing something different from what I am saying, now I declare I am going to take actions that are aligned with what I am saying.” This is easier than it sounds. The seeing, the declaring and what we may think are new actions are often just more of the same way of being as before. There is insight, maybe even new actions, but this does not necessarily create the alignment in what we say and what we do and who we are being that we may be seeking.

There has been something significant that has been eluding me and perhaps others for some years. This search has led me far and wide for over 20 years and on this journey I have appreciated the learning from too many people, courses, books, life etc to mention here in this short blog.

Early in 2010, I made a new discovery, the work of Dr Margaret Paul and Dr Erica Chopich which they call, “Innerbonding” (IB).

This work has been even more profoundly important to me than everything that has gone before. The first steps in IB are consciously setting an intention to learn and being open to learning from higher guidance, a spiritual and heart connection. A spiritual connection in this learning process is whatever that means for you – God, Buddha, nature, or a higher wiser sense of self.

After choosing a situation or event I am able to uncover my own incongruence through the reflective process. This creates cognitive dissonance and creates new insights. New insights are great but is an alignment I am seeking in who I am being.

In this process through I discover what I need to give myself to create that alignment. Through setting a conscious intention to learn and to be connected with higher guidance I then take responsibility for identifying and  taking actions for myself that are for my highest well being.

I choose to take responsibility for my thoughts, feelings and actions or not. If I do choose responsibility, there is more work to be done. I then dialogue with that part of me that is a challenge emotionally, cognitively or spiritually, with my responsible loving adult. In this dialogue I discern if my actions are a result of a false belief that I have created earlier in life. If so, I then continue to dialogue and determine what loving actions I need to take for myself to heal this emotional wound or let go of false beliefs. I then connect with my higher guidance and check that the loving actions I have generated are what I need to take for my higher well being.

I then take the loving actions and review those actions. If the actions have created a deeper sense of my self worth I know I have acted in my highest good. If I am not feeling good I need to go back to dialoguing between my wounded self and my loving adult. Since I have been practising this process I have felt an inner sense of joy and happiness that has given me a new freedom to create in the world and be aligned with my purpose.

In the past I could open Pandora’s box, see something about myself I could not see before, feel the wound, and then only make minor changes and modifications to who I was being. In reality not much changed, more self-knowledge but not wisdom in my actions and who I was being.

I can now open Pandora’s box, heal some part of wounding that has occurred in my life and then determine the loving actions for myself that create more and more alignment with who I was born to be, a loving person who acts from an integration of head, heart and soul consciousness. With the IB process it is not change that occurs – it is truly transformation as wounds are healed and transformations occur in my head, heart and soul consciousness creating an entirely new state of being. Being born newly again and again and again, opening to the flow of love and abundance in the world.

This process is within my hands at any time. Dr Paul has so beautifully crafted SelfQuest, as a downloadable program on your computer.  When I am working with the program, it is as if she is present facilitating the process. It includes, my own online learning journal guiding me through the Inner Bonding process.

Now the IB process is integrated into my learning I am able to apply the six steps whenever and wherever I am at any time.

The 6 step process is exceptionally well documented and accessable as a learning process and resource in the downloadable coaching program SelfQuest.

I highly recommend this work to anyone on a path of self-discovery and who wishes to be even more successful with the work that they can share with others and organisations.

I am an affiliate with the Self Quest Foundation and this program has proven valuable for individuals, corporations schools, prisons and not-for-profit organisations.


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